With great power comes great responsibility

We are all familiar with this concept that dates back to biblical times and has more recently been immortalised in Spiderman comics and films. This is the exact thought that crashed into my heart when my children were first identified as gifted, and I must admit, it sent me into a bit of a panic.

Being the parent of gifted children brings with it great (self-appointed) responsibility. The responsibility to advocate for them every step of the way, in an education system that is already stretched to the limit trying to accommodate the needs of the vast spectrum of children in its classrooms. The responsibility to fill their hours with extracurricular activities that support their growth and development. The responsibility to teach them to appropriately manage those big uncomfortable feelings springing from perfectionism and self-criticism. The responsibility to ensure leisure time is filled with literature and digital programming that promotes critical thinking and mental stimulation. The responsibility to ensure their beautiful brains are nurtured and provided with opportunities to grow and reach their full potential… the list goes on. It was overwhelming.

With this newly appointed responsibility, it was easy to lose track of one simple fact; my children are so much more than their brains. They are funny and caring and frustrating and noisy and cheeky, interesting, vulnerable, and brave. They are inquisitive and affectionate and silly and heart-warming and so many wonderful things. But most of all they are children, who deserve a childhood.

Gifted children continually amaze the adults in their lives with their ability to grasp concepts, ask unimaginable questions, and communicate like fully grown adults, so it can be easy to forget they are children and have child needs, desires, and insecurities. It can also be frustrating for parents and caregivers to watch their child who can build a Lego structure while simultaneously making a toasted cheese sandwich, being thrust into a meltdown when asked to pick up a toy or brush their teeth. Over time I have come to understand the only way to navigate this roller coaster ride of gifted children is through balance.

For every hour spent researching military history, there must be just as many mud-pie battles in the backyard. For all the stars and planets gazed at and pondered, make sure there are twice as many tickles, ice cream cones and fart jokes. Our children look to us to see how to navigate this life. We need to give ourselves permission to take our foot off the accelerator and just plod along sometimes. Surely, we can substitute the occasional piano lesson for a pizza night, or let our kids spend a Saturday morning rolled in a blanket on the floor watching cartoons… the museum will still be there next weekend.

It is true that with parenting gifted children comes great responsibility; the responsibility to make sure they know they are loved for who they are and not how fast they can solve a puzzle. The responsibility to ensure they have a fun-filled childhood and the opportunity to be messy, imperfect, spontaneous and silly. And to encourage them to use their superpower Spidey-senses for good…and fun.

Laura Motherway

NB: Please note that this article only represents the views of the author(s), and is not necessarily representative of the views of the Australian Association for the Education of the Gifted and Talented.